#i can't believe i've got this far in my life without having watched or read it

[bison-appreciation-club]

apparently the 1953 version of peter pan would destroy me a little bit

[adidegmez]

One last time

The bad batch s3 ep 15 spoilers

I am not okay.

Kids survived, some clones survived, tha batch survived What more could we ask for? Well i know Tech. I wanted Tech to return why couldn't he return. Why give us hope why? They convinced us cx2 is someone important and i believed he was tech. But no they just gave hope for nothing.

Ending caught me off guard. I thought someone was going to die i think everyone thought someone would ünd maybe even everyone dies. They survived all them i am glad by this its great.

I cried a lot. When they mentioned Tech i couldn't keep it together.

I am still sad. Ending was great we have everything we ever wanted except Tech.

Hemlock died, rampart died. Nala Se was good. Emerie helped the batch and now she and echo going to help clone underground(hopefully we will get a clone underground show with this artstyle). Everyone and everything is good again except tech i can't stop thinking the fact that they didn't bring hil back why???

If he doesn't have a hand to tremble, there is no trembling problem. They actually did that.

Echo is proud of Omega, hunter wrecker and crosshair knew right away zillo was omega's work.

I thought wrecker was going to die when he echo asked where Hunter and Crosshair are.

The hug omega gave Hunter and Crosshair, the scene where all the batch (except echo and tech of course) sitting in peace so beautiful.

Clone x troopers there are 4 of them. When i was watching i thought they might have been developed with special mutations like bad batch's. But this is not true probably one of those clone looked like a reg. They are all probably reg but how can they fight so good?

Btw I didn't think for even 1 second that the clones wouldn't help rescue their brothers. I like clones, their personality (and their voice ofc) is perfect.

I hope Crosshair knows tech wanted to save him(they must have told him right?). I wish Tech could've see crosshair's character development his story. I wish no could've knew he joined them. I wish... Tech was alive. They didn't bring him back but how could he be dea i still can't belive and now while writing this i am thinking why can't he still be alive maybe i am being so delusional but they didn't confirmed he is dead if there is no body then there is no death, right? Since the end of season 2 we assumed he was alive but they didn't do anything different in this episode than the whole season to prove he is dead. But we still believed he was alive why cant we still believe he is alive the show ended yes but maybe in the future they will make a clone underground show and maybe tech will return. He probably wouldn't return but i refuse to believe he is dead i will believe he is alive untul they prove he is dead but they probably wouldn't prove it. So in my mind tech will be alive and i don't care if i am being too delusional. 🤷🏻‍♀️

When i see older omega first i thought she became a liberater of ancient wonders but this ending made so much more sense. Omega left without saying goodbye to crosshair and wrecker. But Hunter and omega's conversation was beautiful. I think they made that place like a museum?

Crosshair and hunter together killed hemlock, they saved omega together, they believed omega, they believed eachother and themselves. That scene was perfect.

Everything went well, we got a better ending what i expected. But tech...

No matter how much we want some stories doesn't have a happy ending this is what i think about even though we have happy ending i will never forget how tech sacrificed himself for his family. in the end they didn't waste his sacrifice in s2 finale and they did what they were going to do before hemlock captured omega in s2. They lived a peaceful life in pabu they retired.

I keep coming back to the same thing, i know but i can't help it. Tech tech tech... Heroic tech.

I've written too many things too mixed up. But if you've read this far, thank you. And I'm so glad I can be a part of this adventure. I started by writing my thoughts about star wars on Tumblr. And here, theories, fanarts, headcanons, everything was beautiful. Thank you everyone for everything. I'm glad I was able to experience the adventures of Bad Batch with you. goodbye till the next adventure.

thank you dee bradley baker and michelle ang for bringing these characters to life. And thanks to everyone who worked on this beautiful show.

It has been a beautiful (sometimes painful an sometimes peaceful) journey.

goodbye to the bad batch, goodbye

Hunter

Tech

Wrecker

Crosshair

Echo

and Omega.

It has been an honor to know you and being able to watch your adventures. Goodbye o7.

[rubra-wav]

Vox's death - personal headcanons/rambles

A/N I've been sitting on this for a while HDHDH

A lot of this is building on prior headcanons of mine and shots in the dark based on vibes so yeah - I could be completely wrong in season 2 and thus I will eat my hat if that's the case /lh

Just wanted to throw my thoughts out there on this 🙏

CW: SFW, murder, mentions of suicide/mental breakdown, references to staticmoth, angst

In my personal opinion Vox didn't die from a TV falling on his head: he died from poisoning.

The first thing that differs from a lotta stuff I keep seeing is that I don't think the red lines that come from Vox's mouth are actually Val's saliva from kissing him.

In some scenes, it probably is (like in the poison music vid) but when he's very obviously done with Val's bs during the off periods in their relationship that they go through? Nah.

It just wouldn't make sense that it's always from Val. Especially when we have examples like the beginning of episode 8. It just starts seeping from his mouth as he's saying the "I can't wait to watch you get fucked" line.

They show up whenever he's more unstable (like in Stayed Gone) and/or when he's having a sadistic power high (ep 8 ) and is particularly out of his mind.

I think it's symbolic of actually being blood from being poisoned in an instance when he was like that in his life.

Actually getting into it: The leadup to his death

Regardless of how it happened exactly, imo in the end every single one of his relationships while he was alive broke down in the height of his popularity.

He became more and more insufferable to keep around: constantly egotistical and looking down on everyone the more famous and powerful he grew, and became utterly obsessed with maintaining his power. (Also what he's doing in hell - fixated at all times on appearing a certain way and staying at the top)

His mental state declined terribly as he grew paranoid that he would lose his control and have to start from where he was (which wasn't good to say the least), and all of his friends and family left due to how he treated them which only added to his instability due to having no support system.

Not that it would have changed much because yeesh.

The second someone would try to reality check him (if they did) during this time, it only would have made him even more unstable.

He most likely believed that stepping on everyone to maintain his power was more important than anything, and meeting someone who disagreed, he would have just discarded them without a second thought, all the while internalising it deep down to be brought back up whenever he finally crashed.

His actual death

I have two main headcanons of how the poisoning may have gone:

1. The first main one is that he was murdered.

He treated his staff so badly during his gradually worsening mental decline that one (or maybe more) got so fed up by his poor treatment of them that his morning coffee was poisoned, and while on air he started spitting up blood and then died (hence why his head is a TV).

This one makes particular sense to me because the red lines show up when he's being a sadistic asshole - as he would have been leading up to his murder.

2. The second: he poisoned himself on purpose as suicide.

His mental state declined so much, so stuck in his delusions of grandeur that when he was either reality checked and it actually took hold of him or his content started performing badly in comparison to someone else's he experienced the inevitable crash after having a high in that way and had a full on breakdown (or both tbh).

Him taking a stance of 'I'd rather die now while eyes are still on me then when they're all gone again and my existence is unknown once again'.

I think it's far likelier the former, though considering everything.

I am probably reading too damn much into all this but like... the brainrot is all-consuming.

I want to write a fic about his death at some point but like.. I don't think anyone would gaf enough to read it for one, and I also have a bunch of stuff I'm already working on that my brain is buffering about/lh

I'm thinking about how bad he's probably gonna be done in season 2 and slightly dying inside. I HOPE I'm proved wrong so desperately bc I love him too damn much.

Either way I do NOT think there is enough time to properly explore his chara even if Viv wanted to dip into the interesting asf things under the surface. 🗿

My masterlist

[simplyclary]

A Special Chapter Just For You

(Photo credits: Taylor on IG)

Believe it or not, I wrote this at 6am on a Monday morning. Ahhh, the things I do for you, my love.

I have been a fan of many things and people throughout my life, and people could say that it's a part-time job. I'm a simple girl and I'm quick to fall in love with things. Throughout the 24 years of my life, I have been a fan of many books, movies, series and people.

But currently, one shines brighter than the rest. He charmed his way into my life 7 months ago and I will forever be thankful to the universe for bringing me to him.

His name is Taylor Zakhar Perez.

I first knew him as the charming and compassionate Alex Claremont-Diaz, and dang, I wasn't immune to his charms. Those beautiful deer-like brown eyes, the gorgeous eyelashes that people are jealous of (even me), the physique meant for a superhero, his sweet soul that makes me swoon even more and a lot of other things. Gosh, I could talk about the things I love about him all day everyday!

This is just the introduction, and now I'll share with you the journey of being his fan.

For the past 7 months, I have felt many emotions across the spectrum of emotions. Happiness, sadness, frustration, longing and whatever else. One emotion I never felt though was anger. I mean, how could I be angry at Taylor? I could never be.

7 months is such a long time and it somehow just flew by. Time flies when you're having fun, I guess. I've been having so much fun these past months, I mean, not all days were smooth-sailing, but positive days outnumber the negative days.

Being Taylor's fan changed my routine, I wake up early and screaming for Fashion Weeks and events, I stay up late just browsing his photos, I basically can't live without hearing the sound of his voice in a day. That may sound tragic, but to me, it's special. He's basically the one that makes me go through the day in a happy way.

Taylor has been making me so happy that these words are not enough to describe that feeling. He is truly my sunshine and my comfort person. I honestly have no idea what my current life would look like if I didn't know him.

Being his fan makes me happy because I get to join him on his journey to success. I get to be there with him in every step of his road to success and I get to watch him slowly but surely make his dreams come true! Another thing is that I leave compliments on his comment section every time he posts. I may not be noticed by him just yet, but my heart is contented in the fact that I got to leave some sweet words to him!

Another thing I cherish about being Taylor's fan is the family that it brought me. My dearest TZP Squad, my loves on the vast space of the internet. The family I stick with whenever I feel down or get affected by the hate and negativity Taylor is getting. They know how to cheer me up and I love them for that.

Now, a little message that I know he won't read (or he might, who knows):

Taylor, my love, know that I will always remember this chapter with you. I have loved for 7 months now, but I'll continue to love you for 7 more months and sure, 7 more years if that's what's gonna happen. One thing I know for sure is that this fan relationship between you and me is not gonna be a short one. I'm having the time of my life with you and I'm loving every second of it. I hope to meet you soon and get to tell you how much you mean to me and how much I love you.

This fan journey is far from over, and it could be a long chapter in my fandom life story, but it is a special chapter. It will be one of the chapters in my book of life that I may or may have written with so much love and appreciation.

[bonesandthebees]

I just rounded off my period so a massive L to all of you I suppose /lhj

I'm in so much pain about the Wilbur situation in general and have so many mixed feelings. Like I've only just got a chance to sit down and read his 'apology' and all of the replies from content creators and (ex)fans alike. I was so close to throwing up that I had to close the tab /gen.

I've never really watched Shubble content, nor have I had a chance to watch her full vod on the issue, so my first instinct was to be a good little media sieve and try to be open-minded before making an opinion. I won't lie, I was trying very hard to convince myself that it wasn't Wilbur and everyone was jumping to conclusions (though the more I read made that less and less likely).

I was worried for Wilbur's group (tommy, phil, charlie etc) because there was no way they could stream without being harassed by it, and worried partially for Wilbur as well because of various mental health problems that he's admitted to in the past.

Now that he's responded, though, everything's so much worse. As someone who struggled with being on the victim side of abuse for a while, I feel awful for Shelby and everything that happened to her.

Charlie, Ranboo, Tubbo etc have all responded (most very passionately so I have no doubt where they stand), so that's good for them, but tommy and phil have yet to. I can't help but wonder if Techno knew, if it had even started by then or if Wilbur didn't tell him.

I've seen people making reasonable assumptions about signs in past content that may have pointed to Wilbur's abuse, but there are some people making reaches that don't even make sense and now I can barely consume content or even remember videos that i used to be fond of without worrying that it was just Wilbur manipulating people.

Also, as far as I'm aware, none of lovejoy have replied to the situation (apart from the ex trumpeter), so ash, mark and joe are getting hate when they haven't done anything (though I may have just not seen it yet).

Some part of my brain is convinced this is all some horrible nightmare and I'll wake up able to laugh and joke about SBI content with my friends, even if I know that'll likely never happen again.

If there's one thing for certain, it's that his response was not an apology. I do believe that he thought long and hard about it (even if it was just for superficial PR reasons) and maybe ran it by people he trusted, but it was not what he should have said in response to Shelby coming forward about his abuse. All he's done is dig a bigger hole and now thousands of his (ex)supporters have to live with the consequences of his actions.

Honestly, I just feel sad. Sad that it happened, sad that Wilbur isn't who I thought he was and sad that my life will be drastically different from here on out.

Sorry that that was so heavy. I just feel really confused and there's a pit in my stomach that's churning horribly.

-🌺 <3

oh of course SOMEONE just had to finish their period right when the rest of us get it smh /lh

yeah, this is such a horrible situation overall. for me at least his response made the situation somewhat more tolerable because it felt like a closure moment. it made me realize, oh, he was really awful the entire time and this shit apology proves it. however, I'm sure in a few days the reality will hit me and I'll feel awful again. it's not fun realizing someone you admired and were a fan of for so long was a completely different kind of person than the guy he presented himself as.

I don't know where you heard that charlie responded, because as far as I'm aware he has not said anything anywhere about this situation yet.

I also don't think it's very worthwhile for people to be combing through old vods and videos for 'questionable moments' they can point at and be like "look he was abusive the whole time!" because we don't know what's going on in cc's personal lives. more than anything that should be the take away here. we don't know these people, we don't know their personal relationships, we shouldn't be trying to pinpoint every questionable moment and prove something with it because we're not in these personal relationships with wilbur. the other cc's are. basically, don't overthink what you see in old vods or old videos. it's not going to help whatsoever and it's none of our business.

I've also had the thought that this feels like a nightmare I could wake up from. I've had that thought every day since shelby's stream first happened. but unfortunately that's not the case, and we need to focus instead on supporting the victims here

I'm sorry there's not much I can say to help. just try to take care of yourself. give yourself time. it'll get a bit easier with each passing day.

[frostgears]

We Who Are Far From Home, ch. 6: Bree 4

Bree found herself staring over another railing. Instead of a frigid ocean, this one kept her from a two-kilometer drop. But oh, the view…

The sun rose behind her, glinting gold off a chain of mountain lakes and glowing through snowpack, leaving shadowed forested valleys alone with a promise of deeper greens later in the day. Worth protecting, she thought, and then, is this bit even mine? Nobody had yet gone to the trouble of painting red lines on the ground visible from airships. She couldn't tell Pact from Kingdom from unaligned from wilderness up here.

"Can't believe you used to be a little bratty underclasswoman," Emmerline said from behind her.

Bree turned, arranged her face in an approximation of an actual smile instead of an unsettling grin. "I was never a brat," she responded. "Best behavior at all times. Scholarship to maintain."

"Sure you were. Always got the last word in lecture and the first move on the dance floor. I was just thinking that you look so fucking dignified now."

"Hah. You want to know something horrifying that I picked up from the Fist?"

"You had me at 'horrifying'," Emmerline said.

"Ghoul."

Emmerline grinned, warmly, invitingly, a grin sculpted by a dozen generations of posh ancestry to produce one dangerously handsome woman. "Spill it," she said.

"You know they're calling me 'Bree the Blessed' now?"

"Get out. The Fist is?"

"They are. I'm sure they didn't invent it. The Fist idiot reading off the charges said 'commonly known as Bree the Blessed' right before they announced they were there to kill me."

"Well, that's a step up from 'Bree the Bodiless'. Which was never true anyway! You have a body."

"Mmm, yeah," Bree said, "that's what's got me brooding off the port bow of the Eternal Blue, as it happens. It's… I'm… I don't know. I think I'm starting to like it."

"We should all be so lucky,"

"I'm serious!"

"So am I. I don't get the problem."

"The body comes with certain habits. Or thoughts. You said 'dignified', right?"

"Yes, and I also said you used to be a huge brat. Couldn't go five minutes without starting something. Now you seem, I don't know, calmer. You've been hanging out at the bow for hours now, doing what, watching the clouds and thinking deep thoughts? Plus you look like you were born to have that cloak flap dramatically in the breeze. Well. Not born, I suppose. But it suits you either way."

"Em, this isn't me! I'm not sure what is me and what's the doll body and what's from the compulsions and constraints and bindings it was crafted with."

"You sure you didn't just grow up a bit?"

Bree tensed all of her frame actuators in frustration.

"I'd be more sure if I hadn't helped Coda build a few dozen like it with the same service compulsions. Mostly in the parts I can't swap out."

"Ah."

"I can practically feel the need to be a good helpful little… servant," she said, stopping "maid" just before it escaped her voice box. "And I don't know how far it extends! None of the dolls would ever have serious magic, power, allies, all the things I have, so I have no idea what'd happen if one got them! Am I only running around protecting the Kingdom because a bunch of control spells are woven into the pretty little reliquary where my brain should be? Or because that damned archon laid something even worse on it?"

Emmerline tilted her head, appraising.

"Bree. Darling. Two things. One: I'm under no such compulsions. I tracked you down, remember, after you saved my life? I'm here of my own free will." Emmerline held up a finger, then held up another. "So's Nost."

"Please. The way she looks at me. The things I've done to her—"

"It's a small airship. I've heard them. Has one of them been talking? Because I've had more than a few chats with her while waiting for your return. As obviously submissive as she is, Bree, as unassuming and as self-effacing as she can be, it's easy to forget that she's older and more experienced than either of us. She's been with good and bad partners, she's completely capable of choosing for herself. Oh, she also wants your body, but that's just her being an artificer."

"What about Zai?"

"Hmm, yes, Zai," Emmerline put up a third finger, furrowed her brow. "I have no idea. Is she here because she believes in you enough to go rogue, or is she the king's loyal servant, ready to stab us in our backs the instant we try something that Royal Intelligence wouldn't like? Sorry. Can't illuminate the bottom of that swamp," she said cheerily. "But that brings me to my second point: Zai's here and making herself useful because you started a fight with one of the great powers of the world, and by some measures, you are winning. How many of your dolls went and did that?"

Bree laughed, and turned from the rail. "Okay. Okay. Just me, so far. You might have a point."

"And you might still be a dramatic brat. Just a successful one. Stop questioning why everything, focus on how and when and where and what next and keeping the demon-fuckers in the Pact busy. Keep doing that and I'll back you up with all I've got."

"I'm not your underclasswoman any more, Em, I didn't even graduate. And we're a long way from the Academy now."

"Eh. Close enough. We Academy girls gotta stick together."

She offered a hand. Bree took it. Em pulled her, with some effort, into a hug.

"Did Zai put you up to this?" Bree said softly into Emmerline's ear.

"She only said you were moping near the bow."

"Not moping. Just… being. Promise."

"She did, however, have a suggestion for our next port of call."

---

"So you were able to get something out of those letters!" Bree cheered. "Nice. Thought our last excursion before I went north had been a bust."

"She helped," Zai said, jerking her head in Emmerline's direction.

"I recognized a phrase, that's all. Our pet spook had the first few words of the key worked out, and I just happened to remember the epigraph of 'Four Flowers on the Wind'. Funny that they used a Kingdom novel to key their code."

"You saved me at least a week, on that letter alone. And the reason they used a Kingdom novel is because it'd look strange to be caught with Pact literature. Now, the letter named a target for the squad you took it off two months ago, and Bree, you left them unable to exfiltrate and report?"

Bree nodded. "I did ask. Same as always. One chance, put your weapons down, walk away. No takers."

"I envy your ability to make the offer," Zai said suddenly. "You're strong, you can give them that one chance, knowing they'll almost certainly not take it. I'm weak, I fear giving my enemies anything, and I'll kill them before I offer them the chance to kill me." The spy had a pained expression.

"You wouldn't want to be a doll, Zai," Bree said. "Or would you? I'm not sure I'd recommend it."

The spy shook her head, her hair-bun wobbling side to side. "I think not. I've honed my own body; it does what I need." She pursed her lips briefly. "For now. Anyway, the letter: they're meant to converge three heavy squads at the Turquoise flower show, and the Pact noble Marchioness Miriya of Rostalpan is to be executed by the Fist, for the crime of collaboration with the Kingdom, in front of all the mingling aristos from both sides. Apparently Miriya loves flowers. She'd be an example for any other aspiring collaborators: don't even think about the other side of the fence."

"Is she a collaborator?"

"Not sure. Doesn't matter. We have the means and opportunity to visit Turquoise, and look like we're meant to be there right up until we counter-ambush the Fist."

"Miriya. Miriya," Bree said. "Heard that name before, I think. What do you know about her, Zai? Em?"

"Rostalpan is a poor march and house by the standards of human Pact nobility. No demonic patronage. That's all the Service knew when I left," the spy said, "a two-line entry in the Big Book. Didn't rate anything in the Little Book."

"Artist," Emmerline chimed in. "Landscapes. Competent, not brilliant, unless she's evolved spectacularly."

"You know her?" Bree asked. "Would she recognize you?"

"Not likely, since this was way back during the last peace treaty. My father took me to the cultural exchange. Said the peace would be no doubt over soon, but that I should learn what I could."

"And that was what you took away?" Zai asked.

"I was thirteen. What fine points of international politics do you remember from when you were thirteen?"

"At thirteen? I was in His Majesty's Reformatory for Wayward Youths for the crime of frightening a dauphin's horse with my screams after he ran me down in the street, maimed my brother, and broke my leg."

"Gods, you never said! And you're on our side?"

"What side?" Zai shrugged. "That dauphin will get his someday. Preferably slowly. The rest of you parasites will give up their riches or die. Meanwhile, I don't want to see my neighbors die to war and then demons than you, or the doll. So we work together, yes?"

Emmerline stared. She winced. She opened her mouth, closed it again. Then, "Yes," she said, and stuck out a hand.

"Right." Zai clasped it briefly, let go. "Bree, do you need help reconfiguring yourself? Should we go fetch Nost?"

"Oh good, you haven't forgotten about 'the doll'. Yes, please," Bree said, "it's much faster that way. But full briefing first. I don't think she's going to like it."

---

"So, Zai, you're serious about this? You want to have Em make an appearance at this resort town? To do what?"

"Turquoise is at a triple boundary between the Kingdom, the Pact, and the Gulf of Pearls. Neutral. Full of aristos from both sides, on vacation and behaving badly. We're going to visit to catch the famous yearly flower show and cozy up to this Marchioness before the Crimson Fist does. Em is once again Lady Emmerline Dupree, second daughter of House Dupree, still on her increasingly lengthy gap year between Academy graduation and royal service. Bree and I are her servants."

"This is going to burn Em," Nost said.

"Had to happen sometime," Emmerline snorted. "Last chance to clean out the family coffers, raid the closets, and steal the silverware. Least it's for a good cause."

"All right. What about me?"

"You're known to too many Pact security elements. You stay with the ship, as backup."

"And Bree isn't known?" Nost asked. "They have a whole list of epithets for her."

"Not… in my old body," Bree said, looking to Zai, who nodded.

"Her old body?" Nost blanched. "As in… no, you said the archon took that one. Which means… No. No no no. Bree, you can't. Everything we've built together, you won't have it!"

Bree grinned. Her grin left some humanity to be desired. Someone had told her that it never reached her eyes, given that even her current face didn't have the fine articulation she'd need to match human skin. It also displayed far too many teeth, which she'd added an extra row of, just because. Pity the teeth would need to stay with this head.

"Hey," she said, "Originally? I was literally 'maid' for the job. Get it?"

---

prev: We Who Are Far From Home, ch. 5: Bree 3

next: We Who Are Far From Home, ch. 7: Bree 5

[isekai-crow]

Apothecary Diaries / Kusuriya no Hitorigoto General Impressions

Man, this anime has changed my life. I'm obsessed. Maomao my beloved, Jinshi is ironically but secretly somewhat of a sad little meow meow (badumptss), Gaoshun is my life, and Ace representation? In my anime? More likely than you think.

I somehow missed all of the fanfare about the manga! But even living in Japan, I think it was flying under the radar until the anime got announced, and then it had to compete with advertising for Oshi no Ko and the return of Spy x Family. However I can confirm that it is now sweeping the elementary school students in Japan which is A Big Deal.

I'm going to do a general overall SQUEE here about the show, and then hopefully do individual posts about the first 12 episodes later. Probably once I finish the second half of season 1 with my Capybara, because I WILL force us to go back and do a re-watch (I'm already re-watching it without subtitles to force my Beetle to watch it with me).

I'm also forcing myself to NOT read ahead in either of the mangas nor the light novel, both so that the mystery of what come next remains magical, and so that I don't burn myself out on it and instead milk it for all it's worth.

I am also spoiler avoidant for this unless I go looking for them myself, so this should be safe for anime-only peeps who are caught up on the first half. This is just my general impressions so far!

Going into this, I was expecting another Raven of the Inner Palace, but was worried it wouldn't be as good, and was still missing my lovely little Raven and her friends. I've seen my fair share of Chinese and Korean historical dramas that I enjoyed, but was worried this would be another Shojo, a genre I don't often like.

The PVs didn't do a lot to dispel this worry, but I assume this was simply because I had never read the manga. (I wonder what the initial impact would have changed had I done so.) It's been a while so I can't really pinpoint exactly what made me have doubts outside of simply wanting a second season of Raven Palace.

The first few episodes were a whirlwind of world building and set up, and mystery, and they dragged me fully into the world of high ranking courtesans and harems.

I immediately fell in love with Maomao's deadpan delivery, manical obsession with poisons, complete nonchalance with the sex industry and harem activities, and absolute lack of interest in Jinshi while still being able to appreciate how dangerously beautiful he is.

I fell in love with Jinshi's idiocy, the level of uke vibes he gives off, his knowledge of and use of his beauty as a weapon and tool while still giving off hints of not necessarily enjoying the attention, and felt like I was riding along with him in his fascination with MaoMao.

Gaoshun is a DELIGHT. I always love the exasperated assistant to the rambunctious Male Lead, and the nickname Xiaomao is SO CUTE AHHHHH. This happened in Raven Palace too, where the two eunuch assitants/spies were my favorite (but they were also crow shipping bait). Gaoshun is just a delightful 'old' man who needs a break and deserves one. I want to be Gaoshun.

The Ace/Aro vibes are also STRONG in this show, and I love it, even if it might only be vague representation.

I am aware of the debate over whether or not Maomao can be considered asexual or not, and I'm firmly on team A-spec, as someone who is aegosexual/ace myself and who can still have sex and consider it to be an act of connection with someone.

I agree that the environment she grew up in affected her views on sex and how it's a tool and a product, and women only get to control it in very limited situations, but that doesn't negate the ace label. Both can exist, and if it turns out differently in the future then that's that, but people are allowed to believe what they want.

Even both being on team Ace(Aro)!Maomao, Capybara and I have our disagreements about how this is going to play out, and have our own ideas about what we'd like to see play out too.

Capy hopes they become Bros and stay fully ace/aro, and I hope they end up in some sort of queer-like relationship. But either way I am SUPER happy to have a show that has so much of its world building connected to sex, and yet it doesn't revolve around sex. Even the fan service like moments aren't really all the fan service-y. They serve a purpose apart from fan service, and I am here for this.

(Maomao is absolutely telling her what a boob job is.)

The mysteries are great and twisty, and there are enough clues that if you're paying attention you can figure out what actually happened. Then there are some like the entire last few episodes of the first half that wouldn't be possible without knowing what Maomao learned, and we don't get to learn what happened until the culprit does either.

I admit that only watching the anime sometimes leaves me with questions, and the subtitle translations are sometimes different than what's being said, in a way that implies a cultural difference that's not possibly to translate clearly. Reading the corresponding chapter of both mangas to whatever episode I watched helps a great deal, and helps to fully flesh out the characters, their motivations, and the world as a whole in it's small small corner of the palace.

I'm looking forward to the second half of the season, and I will hopefully be posting reactions to each episode, and then when I go back to re-watch, I plan to write up about those episodes then. Maybe I'll make a master post, and maybe this hyper fixation will dissipate before I make it that far.

I LOVE THIS SHOW.

[anchovies-4-dinner]

AITA for lying to my partner? || [deleted]

Words: 736

Warnings: implied double suicide

A/N: best read with the siri voice in mind

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

For context, I (m26) have accumulated a lot of debt from my recent project and am under a lot of pressure from work. Because of this I'd been living with my roommate which I'd tried to hide from my partner.

It all started with my partner acting more aloof, which is weird since they are usually quite open with me. Not only that, but they'd been asking to visit my house more often; I know you may be thinking this isn't a big of a deal but among my peers I had an especially high reputation that my secret could destroy. Only a handful of people know but I don't intend to add my partner to that list as we had already planned our future together, the debt could complicate things.

As for said debt, it was very stupid, but I couldn't help burrowing a loan for my project and now it's biting me in the ass; I thought I could pay it back in no time considering my job but the costs just kept piling up. Anyways, I had a suspicion that the loaner had begun to badger my circle so I went to confront her and try to reach an agreement. She wouldn't have it - she said that since my projects are successes anyway I should have no problem. I've never wanted to kick-drop someone so badly in my entire life.

If that wasn't bad enough I then found my partner snooping in my house. Apparently my shit roommate let them in, saying that he usually doesn't get involved but that they had a right to know. Thanks for nothing asshole. In short, my partner totally freaked out; they were always speaking of a lavish lifestyle so the bombshell singlehandedly destabilised my beautiful 4 year relationship.

They wanted to take a break at least until I had sorted out my debt and we got into an argument; I told them I couldn't believe they were abandoning me at my lowest, while they said they didn't want to marry someone so irresponsible. A lot of hurtful words were exchanged and I can't help but think that they meant every single one of them. My partner tried leaving but in a state of anger I grabbed their arm which I now know lead to bruising. I don't remember much after that, but I blew up in their face - never had I felt more regret than watching their expression turn from anger to fear.

We didn't talk after that. At this point I was growing desperate, and with my relationship dragged through the mud I turned to all sorts of illegal activities, including selling some of my friends' belongings/gadgets without their knowledge. Anything to get rid of my debt. I guess I wasn't subtle enough as my roommate realised and kicked me out.

I'd never been homeless before but during that time I was struggling to balance my reputation and new burden; thanks to one of my friends being a survival expert I managed to get along with what little skills i'd learnt, but my appearance was a whole different matter. It didn't take long for people to find out.

I went from a well respected figure to a laughing stock. With such vicious rumours circulating (some with a hint of truth) it would take a rebirth to fix my life. The only upside was that the loaner had stopped contacting me, presumably accepting the fact that she couldn't squeeze out anymore mora.

But what really did it was watching my own partner start over with someone else. Someone much more financially stable - my own fucking roommate. Even now as I'm typing this I can't help but laugh at the kind of drama this has turned into. It only makes sense to give it an equally dramatic end. Wouldn't you agree, Al Haitham?

I always knew you had an eye for (y/n), but I never thought you'd go so far as to ruin my life. Well guess what, dickbag, by the time you've read this I'd have already returned the favour.

Did you know that (y/n) is a heavy sleeper? It was incredibly easy to get where I am now, sitting in their bedroom only a foot away. I can even smell their shampoo. Oh how you'd kill for this opportunity.

Oh how close you were.

[nanawaffles]

Hey, I just wanted to share an opinion after reading one of your posts which I completely agree with. Apparently there's always been a lot of LoTR (am I even writing the abbreviation right, uh...) and I was aware that the movies exist. It's been like 20 years since I first learnt about this universe and I haven't watched the movies yet. I started, I tried, it just never got me, while lots of ppl around me were either lorebros or admiring those elves played by Lee Pace and Orlando Bloom. Yeah, that's how illiterate I am. Never planned to change, but came across the Haladriel ship last year, caught my eye, and this year... wait, is it the came dude who gave off Flynn of Tangled vibes??? I swear, if such a characters, such an actor was a part of those movie trilogy I would have watched them long time ago! I mean, this is absolutely golden, I had to dive deeper and I totally enjoy Haladriel dynamics like I haven't enjoyed a romantic ship in ages (life made me go for bromances somehow). But what else occurs... All of my friends hate the show, I dunno if I ever tell them I wanna watch it and find the Haladriel thing amazing. Feels stupid, feels like doing something wrong.

First if all, hi, I'm so glad you could share this. Secondly, yes, LOTR is the correct abbreviation. 😊 thirdly, I'm so happy to hear that rings of power is giving you a a bit of an entryway into the world, that's amazing, and you have no idea how welcome you are by a lot of us. I can't say all of us, unfortunately, but a ton of us are thrilled you're here and interested.

Lastly yeaaaah that's exactly my concern. You shouldn't ever feel bad about wanting to enjoy a piece of art; and i think the negativity about rings of power has done quite a bit of damage to those who would be most welcome in the fandom and just being able to enjoy it. Take it from a hardcore fan of the books, the movies, who has been on this train since i was a wee little one-- there's nothing wrong with wanting to watch it, or even finding interest in haladriel it's an interesting ship though it sure does anger folks I'll tell ya. But everyone and everything has a critic, and there's far more of a fanbase than a negative one. Even those who don't ship it find it an interesting dynamic.

I think the lorebros, like you mentioned, got very attached to Jackson's vision, though even that vision was flawed--and in some ways flawed quite heavily-- aaand its kinda become their holy grail. Like i love lee pace and Orlando bloom, but there is certainly a gravitas that got added, and more than that Jackson changed both characters in ways I'm not particularly fond of. Why, I'm not quite sure. Orlando bloom seems the type of guy who if you told him to troll 95% of the time just cause his character is 3000 years old and thinks everyone is a baby, plus screech at seeing a balrog because "oh fucking shit" he'd have a blast. What rings of power hits on with elves that the movies don't... is the humanity if you will. They're thousands of years old, with wisdom given as gifts from youth, and still fuck up horrifically. They're not these.. stoic beings who speak all high and beyond everyone else's comprehension. They fuck around, they tease, if anything they're humans without the inhibitions because they are so old and. They explore and sometimes that destroys the world.

And I'm talking pure canon on that. I'll shut up now though-- point is it's not wrong. Millions of us like this show and fully believe it's worth it.

i wish you well. And if you ever do watch it, know that I'm cheering for you 😎❤

OH ALSO hal as Flynn vibes is something I've not thought of but gosh... that explains a lot.

[kindaoptimisticsquirrel]

Trigun Bookclub Trimax Vol10 Part 1

Vol01: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3  | Vol02: Part 1 | Part 2

Trimax: Vol01 Part 1Vol01 Part 2 | Vol02 Part 1Vol02 Part 2 | Vol 03 Part 1 | Vol03 Part2 | Vol04 Part1 | Vol04 Part2 | Vol05 | Vol06 | Vol07 | Vol08 Part1 | Vol08 Part2 | Vol09 Part1 | Vol09 Part2 | Vol10 Part1

I'm early for this one cause I won't have time the rest of the week. And as a bonus it's like doing the presentation first: after that I can lay back, watching all the others knowing that I've put it already behind me. This is only part1 but I trust you've read the whole volume when you read this commentary! I might make 3 parts with all the images I'm putting in this now, haha....

Chapter 1:

Sad music playing in the bg, all other noises canceled out, room relatively cool: let's go.

I can't get over the fact how Wolfwood's playing scnes with Vash out in his head. And this moment here! It was such an important discussion, their first clash of ideals....And now Wolfwood wants to prove him wrong. That he is NOT giving up hope so easily.

"Do not tell me you are betting on hopes" I thought you were some kind of religious cult?? Believing in the holy creatures? Well there really isn't much believe left in this dying old man. Such a poor soul. He doesn't believe in his own religion. He might once have believed in his god (aka Knives) but would want him dead now- only that he doesn't believe he can kill him so he doesn't believe in a future for anyone. He doesn't believe in his pupils and doesn't believe them when they say they might know a way of salvation. And now he's just trying to drag everybody down with him.

And Wolfwood IS believing....with his whole heart and without a doubt. Oh my god. (And he hasn't forsaken you either!!!)

Disapproving of this weapon head tilt which is reserved for gay battle couples only!

Can you stop shooting this man for one fucking second

FOR ONE SECOND

FOR FUCK'S SAKE

I wonder if we can read this hesitation by Razlo as a sentiment of Livio deep deep within who might NOT want to kill Wolfwood? It could also just be Razlo's shock at seeing how he misinterpreted his opponent though.

Go to hell old man.

Chapter 2:

I need to remind myself that Razlo is not just "kill kill kill!" or blindly following Chapel. He's also nuanced and got lots of respect for this worthy opponent (and ex colleague of his, ex friend/brother of Livio).

This title here is giving me emotions and I want that image as a patch to sew on my backpack please

I can't really distinguish...is he talking about a bad chill? As in making him uneasy? He looks like it, but I'm not sure..

I gotta say shooting yourself is a hardcore statement. Great, now he's a MAD angry old ass of a man. But to Razlo I say: Have your forgotten the girl Livio saved??? And you, yous saved Razlo countless times!! Did they not need you both? D:

Miss Melanie is such a lovable character!! Go and protect your kids...even if you know the enemy is far too powerful! I love this little comedic moment in between this whole mess (And sh reminds me a bit of my mother, too)

Why else? Because you're an arsehole maybe, or because he has learned that he can chose not to be a killer and be a decent person?

This is such such such an evil move of Chapel. "Here, look at this boy, once innocent and a part of your family...now he's changed into a disgusting creature! Look at him and judge him and laugh at him and his poor life."

And the worst part, exactly this has been one of Wolfwood's biggest fears. Because next to not being able to save his family at the orphanage...if one of them would see Wolfwood as he is now and decide that he is a despicable person, someone who doesn't deserve redemption, it would mean he is truly lost. Then he would be only a killer and nothing more.

Thank god Melanie is having none of it. And look how Wolfwood's eye that was just a moment ago wide with shock is closing, his whole feature relaxing. This is what he needed...her telling him that he could have come home anytime. That he is still and will always be! A part of their family.

Of course you moron you could have done this together!! If you didn't run off alone...trying to do things on your own. Somehow, now that I think about this...this really feels like act of a boy that didn't have time to grow up. Running off to the orphanage was not Wolfwood- it was Nicholas doing it. Not Wolfwood the Punisher but Nicholas the Boy. Why is this thought making me emotional?

Fuck we see him thinking, thinking fast of a way to still save the situation, seeing the vials, maybe wondering if he will be able to do it with them can he do it can he do it

You godforsaken idiot why did you have to bite them down and seal your fate

And in the moment when Nicholas needed him most, Vash came. But he came a second too late.

Look, there's just something about Vash coming to his rescue in this moment where Wolfwood is at his lowest. Completely ripped apart, laid bare before his loved ones...These two pages, and the sole sentence "I've made a friend" is something so poetic...they make me internally scream because YES you've made a friend, you both love and trust each other deeply...you really have made such a good friend. SOBBING

[pricegouge]

Confession hour?

My dad's been present but uninterested in my life. My mom raised us till I could start helping then we all raised each other. He's not the greatest or the worst, he just really didn't love my mom and the "Best friends" lie couldnt keep up. Very much a do as I say and not as I do man.

Anyways my parents finally decided to divorced(got the paper signed the 17th) and I've been with my mom since the split. Shes used me as her rock (weve worked hard on our boundaries through this) but the main reason I can't stomach having him in my life rn (honestly since the split almost a year ago) is cuz he started his hoe "phase" openly before my mom was even fully out of his house, and with girls around my age and younger(21)

There's more too it. A man in my youth using the ig obviously lack of attention from him(my dad) and used that to get me. I blamed myself up until a year ago. Realizing giving permission doesn't make me the target in the first place.

I feel like he couldnt have a relationship with me, more then being in front of me, because he couldnt have sex with me. It would be wrong so/and he couldn't have emotions for me.

I feel pathetic for caring so much tbh. I wish I didn't at all. His porn addiction has been more important than me since I could remember. And when he caught me watching porn he calls Me a whore? I was 10.

I don't know what I want from this. I don't know if I even need him. I want him. My mom even wants him. I've had to remind her she's allowed to let herself love someone other then him and want love from someone other then him.

I could get the attention and affection I want from him from someone else. But I also don't even know I could stomach someone giving me all that. Or believe they weren't just putting on a face until they get behind closed door and the face falls.

I'm his first bio child. My older sis is from my mom's first relationship. He loved her so much more. Went out of his way to find things they could watch together and have in common. I wanted to be included but I was always talked into leaving for one reason or another. I thought when I got older he would do the same with me. But I did it for use. Finding shows I know he likes and watching them with him. Talking about his work first then my school second or not at all. Again the pathetic part is he was there, he wasn't a complete monster and I filled as much as I could at the time, he didn't full out reject me. But it's just not enough.

This is too long, I could keep going but I've spent to long on this already .

Well it's just a secret sharing ask game but it's kinda turned into confession hour lol

Anyway, Christ thats a lot. Okay first off Im so so sorry and uhhh I think you should kill him. It will set you free of the pain of wanting his attention when he's no longer around. I can't imagine the kind of manipulation on top of everything else he put y'all through if even after all that you guys still want his affection, yeesh. I say kill him and be done with it, even if it's just in spirit. And DONT find a person to replace him/give you want you want. That's not how it works and will only leave you with an even bigger void to fill. If it's an option, I think both you and your mother would benefit from therapy. Really work on who you were with him so you can figure out who you are without him. Because again, he should stay gone.

ALSO okay one gouge lore confession as a treat. Growing up, my step brother groomed and then later married my older sister. They were eleven years apart and iirc, my sister was in 7th grade the first time I saw them getting too cozy (also I was the only one paying attention cause my parents were so absent but that's neither here nor there) and I have to be honest, the way you described your father and your sister's relationship sounds wayyy too close to what my sister and my step brother had going on and even if nothing came of it/or if I'm reading too far into it, I'm kinda glad he never doted on you the same way

Anyway love you and please give this to your dad for me 🔪

[orionsangel86]

I would like to hear your GOmens opinions! I feel like the fandom is a mix of reasonable and bathshit dumb opinions.

Oh nonny I don't know if you truly do! My opinions are controversial at minimum and likely to get me cancelled by GO fandom at most!

*deep breath* Okay you asked for it. Don't come at me when you don't like what I have said.

I'll put this under a cut cos it'll no doubt get long and ranty and look fair warning to anyone clicking read more, these are JUST one person's opinions. We can disagree on those things. I'm not going around screaming at people that they are wrong and I've kept this all very close to my chest for a very long time now. So please take that with a pinch of salt before you decide to read my rant.

*sigh* this is probably a bad idea but here goes...

The thing is, I love analysing TV and film and literature, and I take an analytical view of things where I try to set myself apart as much as possible from the highly emotional volatile fandom response. (I dont always succeed in this but I try).

One thing I always stress is that characters in TV shows or movies are *not real people* and therefore you can't apply real people sensitivities to them. They are instead frankenstein mixes of what the creative team wants them to be, and every little decision about the characters is carefully thought out. Intention and interpretation matters. My view on a character is not an invalidation of a real persons identity. If I say a character is not X, that does not mean I think that real people who are X are not valid, or that I don't believe in their real life identity. Is this all clear so far? Okay.

Representation also matters and I have seen Good Omens fandom tie themselves up in a frenzie of policing fans and call out posts accusing anyone who wants more from AziraCrows relationship a whole multitude of x-phobics depending on the buzzword of the day. To the point that these fans have convinced themselves that a kiss or love declaration or ANYTHING from AziraCrow that would be considered more explicit than what we got in Season 1 is something they DON'T want because somehow that would take away from the *x-identity rep* theyve decided to claim as canon. But sadly these fans have rather deluded themselves because none of those identities are *canon* in season 1. Even the claims that AziraCrow are gender non conforming non binary etc are not *canon* because *canon* means that any dumbass regular audience member could watch the thing and say "oh. That character is x". Yes Crowley is Nanny Asteroth for a time, but a general audience is just going to view that as male Crowley in drag. Sorry but its the truth. They see David Tennant playing Crowley, they see a male actor playing Crowley, they are gonna view Crowley as a male. Unless it is textually stated by Crowley that he isn't male, then they aren't gonna get it and it isn't the rep you want it to be, because representation should mean that everyone ELSE also notices and learns to understand about those marginalised identities.

Take Sandman. Very gay. Very very gay. So gay that people from the dumbass general audience (the DGA going forward) went online to complain about it being gay because the gay was so very obvious to them, so obvious in fact they claimed *every* character in Sandman was gay and having gay sex and I'll be honest it left me rather disappointed when Morpheus didnt fuck Hob Gadlings brains out in episode 6 like he clearly wanted to, but I digress.

Take OFMD, Jim is a canonical non binary character and the show makes this clear in the canon text without ever having Jim say they are "non binary" or have the clumsy awkward explanation that is clearly for the DGA about it, but instead the conversation flows naturally - are you a woman? I don't know. Are you a man? I don't know. I'm just Jim. Okay Just Jim. We will refer to you by they/them pronouns now. It's all cool.

But Crowley and Aziraphale are characters played by male actors who always use he/him pronouns. Even as Nanny Asteroth no one ever refers to the nanny as "she". So its not clear to the DGA. Them being asexual may be a valid headcanon, but its not canon if its never mentioned. If at some point someone said something to Zira about sex and he said "oh I don't go in for that sort of thing" then sure, that's got some canon merit to it, but otherwise Good Omens can NOT be applauded for being good asexual representation on television.

If your general audience of braindead heteronormative idiots isnt seeing it, its not technically canon. Its implied, subtextual, queer coded, hinted at, etc, but not *canon*. Its not gonna get a GLAAD nomination for representation and a bunch of queer journalists writing articles about it if its only *subtext*.

I don't recall any of the queer media people applauding Good Omens for being queer representation. I recall them all sort of scratching their heads being like "is it...?" and I recall a lot of people getting rather annoyed because NG took a stance online proclaiming that it was an obvious love story when really, from just watching the show... it kind of wasn't?

God this is gonna get me so much hate... *sigh* okay look. I adore season 1. I was totally with you guys celebrating how queer it all seemed to me and loving NGs responses on Twitter to anyone questioning the "friendship" between Az+Crow. I was also online getting wrapped up in the fandom echo chamber claiming it was 100% canon and anyone who didn't see it was a homophobic moron or whatever... yeah... but I've grown up a lot since 2019 surprisingly - the whole Destiel going "canon" and then getting shoved forcefully back into the metaphorical closet was a big eye opener and everything changed after November 5th 2020.

Suddenly, what Az+Crow had in season 1 wasn't enough anymore. It should never have been enough to begin with. I recall my very first watch and how I was seeing all the subtext and coding and clear romantic tropes build and build and then we got to that final scene in the ritz and all I wanted was for them to take each others hands, I watched with eager anticipation and... it didn't happen. I can vividly recall the disappointment I felt at that moment. I didn't need a kiss, or a declaration, but I wanted them to hold hands in that scene. They got so close! Zira leans in and places his hand on the table right by Crowley and my GOD it was like being edged without the pay off. I hated it. I HATED it because it would have been SO EASY but they didn't do it.

I also recall getting quietly annoyed at NG for claiming they held hands on the bus. I watched the slowed down zoomed in gifs of that moment and sorry, but no. They don't. Even if the actors actually DID hold hands, the camera doesn't pick it up clearly enough for it to mean a damn thing.

I totally understand people claiming that Az+Crow are already queer. It's totally valid to see yourself in them and want them to represent you. But the painful truth is that in season 1 of the show, they aren't anything of what you claim them to be. They are two characters who are male presenting who are very good friends to the point that its all a bit homoerotic. The DGA isn't gonna take any time to think about the complexities of angel and demon gender or the lack thereof, they are only gonna see two male actors playing said angel and demon. They aren't gonna think about you and your identity, and they aren't gonna pick up the subtext even if it is painfully obvious. Because they won't see it as gay unless it is explicitly gay.

But Saz, why should we care what the DGA thinks?

Because thats what this whole argument has always been about. Because that's what canon means. No one, not even the DGA are arguing today about whether or not Castiel is gay. No one in the DGA is arguing about Stede and Blackbeard, or Lucius. No one is arguing about the Corinthian or Johanna Constantine. They see that these characters are queer, they accept it. Simple. Because of this, it counts towards representation. Because it normalises our identities. By putting our identities into mainstream stories in such a way that they are unavoidable for the DGA, THAT is what representation is.

When characters and stories keep our identities buried in subtext and allusions and queer coding which quite frankly should have been left in the hays code era, it doesn't count towards representation, no matter what your fandom echo chamber may scream into the void. Or, for that matter, what your creator and fantasy genre author may claim in the void either.

Word of God may help us in a lot of ways, but if they aint putting it into the actual text, then word of god is meaningless in terms of representation as well. Disney claiming Valkyrie was bisexual doesn't mean a damn thing if she never discusses her bisexuality or has any scenes where she shows interest in the same sex. Thankfully that changed in the latest movie, but for a long time it was a problem.

Okay then. So what am I saying? Was NG queerbaiting us with AziraCrow in season 1?

No. Gods I hate that word. Queerbaiting is only occurring when the creators involved maliciously add queer subtext with the explicit intention of gaining popularity among queer audiences specifically with no intention to reward them by actually making those characters queer.

Now, I may not agree with people who claim Crowley and Aziraphale are explicitly queer in season 1, but I also don't think NG ever intended GO to be a queer show. He made GO to be a popular fantasy show as a last wish for his friend Terry Pratchet. He made it extremely faithful to the book in every way (in some ways, to the detriment of the show) and that includes keeping AziraCrows relationship in safe platonic territory. Yes he ramped up the romantic subtext, but I fully believe that this was because he had already decided he was going to further develop the story if season 1 was a hit, but I don't think for a second that he predicted that it would gain such massive traction in queer fandom circles.

No malicious intent to utilise the queer community, no queerbaiting. So lets just stamp down on that accusation once and for all. It's bullshit.

But that changes in season 2. So here is where I have been getting annoyed at GO fandom lately with all this "we don't need it to be explicit! A kiss would invalidate my identity! If they do anything it'll take away from ace rep! etc etc" SHUt UP!

Why do all these fans think kissing is something ace people don't do? Why would an innocent kiss invalidate ace rep? Are you HEARING YOURSELVES?! and okay, even if you are an ace person who does not ever kiss, are you so opposed to words of affirmation too? Are you a hater of love declarations now? Why is THAT such a terrible thing? You are deluding yourselves, and I get why. You are trying to protect yourselves from disappointment because you have spent 4 years screaming at people online and policing people who dare to say that AziraCrow aren't already canonically together and in love and have somehow tied your own identity into these characters to the point that you are frightened that season 2 might disprove your words and somehow invalidate your identity. Gods forbid if they DO kiss now you have lost the precious representation you claimed was so important to you right? But its NOT the case!

If nothing happens in GO S2 then it WOULD be queerbaiting. For the FIRST TIME. Because NG knows now how important AziraCrow's relationship is to the queer fans and he himself has been claiming its a love story for 4 years. If he didn't put his money where his mouth is and make them explicitly canonically queer and together in season 2 then I'm sorry but it would very much be queerbaiting. Keeping the loud queer fanbase on tenterhooks, getting them all excited so that GO trends on social media and then NOT following through? That's CLASSIC QUEERBAITING.

But NG isn't doing that. Because they are going to be together. Because it will be explicitly queer. Because even the trailer indicates this is the case. The season 1 GO trailer didn't include any of the romantic subtext if I recall correctly, it was solely promoted as a silly fantasy show. The season 2 trailer leans into the romance. It'll be explicitly clear - because I don't think NG is stupid enough to not go through with it. I understand why he didn't in season 1, there was a lot more at stake and he wanted to keep it totally 100% faithful to the book, but season 2 is a blank page, open book, nothing stopping it from happening. Plus, in 2023, in a post Destiel confession, post OFMD world, not going there would be just the most idiotic bad for business move the man could make.

So can GO fans please stop making bad faith arguments about why AziraCrow shouldn't be more explicitly together in season 2? Because I'll be honest, it is coming across less like you wanna protect the supposed "Ace representation" and more like maybe you are just uncomfortable with the idea of two middle aged male actors being physically intimate on screen.

Also if NG doesn't have the balls to go through with it, then can y'all please stop protecting him? I love the guy. I do. I think he is a talented genius who has done more for the fantasy genre than anyone else alive today. But gods, if he doesn't let AziraCrow at least confirm to themselves or other people that they have non platonic feelings for each other, in such a way that the DGA understands that this is a non platonic love story, then he deserves all the angry asks and queerbaiting accusations he will inevitably get. Personally, I don't think he's that dumb. So perhaps his fans can also have a bit more faith in him too.

**to anyone who may want to address the spoiler in this post, please don't. I am aware of it and have chosen in this ask to not acknowledge it so that all fans can read this, besides, the spoiler itself does not actually change anything I have mentioned here especially with some of the daft theories I have seen surrounding it.**

Okay I'm done. Rant over. Proceed to cancel me if you must.

[photos-the-wereplant]

The Ancient Magus' Bride is legitimately one of the most wholesome, lovely pieces of media I've ever had the pleasure of enjoying.

I watched it when it first came out, and before then I hadn't really understood the importance of relatable characters in media. Mind you, I was in my 20s when it came out, meaning it'd taken me that long to find a character I genuinely related to in media. It was Elias.

He's viewed like a child in how little he understands, but he is so caring and thoughtful and KIND. He tells Chise that she now has a home and family to comfort her, and follows through on those things despite receiving nothing in return and knowing that she would die. Unlike everyone else, who gets warm fuzzy feelings from being kind, he gets nothing.

Elias is trying to be the best human he can be and is constantly putting himself through the motions and giving it his 100% for hundreds of years.

And yet Elias is the monster. He's the one they're afraid of. He's inhuman. He's the failure. Chise is the only one who accepts his kindness at face value.

Real people don't do that. When they sense the deep emptiness behind a kindness, they can't understand it. It disturbs them. They can't fathom such an existence.

There are two outcomes: they either believe you're a monster or they brush it off as some misunderstanding. You're not given a chance to be you. You have your role assigned to you.

But even better, he's juxtaposed with Chise. She lacks emotion and agency because of trauma. Elias doesn't have trauma. He is who he is. When Elias feels emotions, they're NEW to him. He's honest and straightforward, but sometimes he acts irrationally because he doesn't have the other emotions he needs to be able to deal with what he feels. He hides in a hole in the woods and traps Chise there when she follows because he doesn't have the other emotions to keep his jealousy and fear in check. It's only when his fear is triggered by something new that he can snap out of it.

I was 19 when I found out what sadness felt like. The most important person in the world to me had just died, and I didn't have any emotions to grieve for them. I needed to grieve, but I couldn't. Can you imagine? I stood there, seemingly unaffected, while my family fell apart around me.

The only thing I had was my kindness. I was an empty human, but I knew that it was right for me to take care of my family. I knew it mattered. I couldn't grieve or yell or anything, so I did the things I could.

When it was time for me to speak at my sister's funeral, I read The Raven, because I knew she would've loved that. When I got towards the end and Poe is grieving Lenore, I choked. I felt something new. I felt sad. I felt the enormity of the loss of someone I would've gladly traded my life for.

Without the positive emotions though, things like sadness will tear you apart. I will never regain my health from before. My body is internally scarred far beyond its age. I don't drink alcohol, smoke, eat junk food, or do drugs, and I drink a lot of water. When I was 23, the doctor told me they've never seen my symptoms in anyone under 50.

The monster in Elias isn't because he's part monster/part human, the monster comes from his emotions. The human in him is the monster. It's the human part that wants to protect or lash out or kill. It's the human that's irrational. The human that yearns for closeness and can't bear being lonely and will destroy what it loves because of that.

Chise is the only one who actually understands that. In the moments where her life hangs in the balance due to Elias's emotions, she understands that it is the most real form of caring that anyone has ever shown her. She appreciates it for what it really is, even at the cost of her own safety.

This whole thing came from me rewatching The Ancient Magus' Bride and wanting to gush about it. I've got so many more emotions than I did when I first watched it. The story made me cry happy tears. I couldn't believe it. I never would have thought that I'd figure that one out. But I guess I did.

But, back to why this representation is so important to me.

There's a big difference between not having emotions and being depressed or even being numb. At the beginning, Elias is content. He is not suffering. He is curious about the world, but it doesn't drive him. Most importantly, he is kind.

That's how I used to be. I wasn't depressed or numb, I was content. I didn't need the emotions others did. I pursued kindness in my own way. I hid the emptiness that frightened people, much like how Elias hides his face.

But for people like me... everyone assumes it's either depression or something like sociopathy when they hear it explained. We don't get someone like Chise who comes along and takes our kindness at face value.

So if Elias resonates with you... feel free to talk to me. You deserve to know that you're not alone. I only wish I'd known sooner.

[bbyblueetypes]

MAFIA STORY PT 1

This is a story featuring @gatheringofsuffering / @sufferingsthegame ‘s ocs and my own! Its one of many parts of a mafia based story, let me know what you think.

TW [Implied] Pedophilia

The sky was dark, only lit by a million stars and the quarter moon that sat perfectly between them all. My back against the cool familiar concrete of the roof we met on every night as I stared into the speckles scattered above me. My phone laid flat on the concrete, silent. He always shows up, or at the very least he texts. Most people wouldn't give it a second thought, they wait patiently for a text or for them to come home. No one would think the worst in just a few hours, a day even. But I know otherwise, I know him.. I've been running every scenario in my head. Over and over again. And every single one has led me back to the same conclusion. I know I can't be rash.. not just yet. but i'd be lying if i said i didn't want to run through every alley, pick every bar fight and check every building in sight until my legs are burning and my head throbs. The sick feeling in my stomach won't go away, it sits at the bottom like a boulder and the continuous nauseous feeling gets worse with every breath. The buzzing of my phone makes my hand move like a flash of light. I grab it, hoping for a miracle and inevitably being disappointed again when the notification wasn't his name. My eyes dart to the top of the screen to read the time. 1:32am. It's later than usual. It's been about a whole day now, a whole day hes been missing. Where did you go? I can't take it any longer. I need to get answers.

I sat on the edge of the rooftop overlooking the buildings below and kicking my feet a bit. My brain is racing with all the information for my newest case. Trying to piece all of them together for Braxton. He never liked doing the thinking himself, it always pleased him more when i brought him the information already put together for him. Pleasing him helped me keep my status. pleasing him was practically all I lived for at this point.

“Hiya Blue”

Except him. My head turns in the direction of the familiar voice. There he stands only a few feet from me making his way in my direction, his emerald green hair falling against his forehead. He always kept it longer, enough to put into a small little pony tail if he wanted to. The thought amused me a little. He wasn't very tall, or well built like most men I've met in the mafia business. Sometimes I wonder how he ever made it so far. But he was smart, I guess I'll give him that. He used his younger look to his advantage and he used it well. God if he told me he was 13 I would've believed him. He always boasted about how he didn't have a group he worked for, how he worked for himself. God, how I envied him for it too. I hated him in fact . Braxton always told me never to trust someone like him, they were always out to get us. If I trusted them too much theyd ruin everything we've worked for, they'd hurt me. I hated him for a while, some would go as far to say we were enemies. Sometimes I still do. I watch his dark brown eyes scan me as he walks, probably out of habit I think. In case I'm armed, which I always am. He knows this.

“Hey Green, get bored of life without me so soon?” I tease him slightly. Which earns me a small smirk.

“Oh yea lifes sooooo fucking boring, i was almost gonna die if you werent on this roof” he speaks sarcastically. He always knows how to push my buttons with his sly comments and snarky attitude.

“Well get to dying asshole, I was just leaving” I say as I lift my legs over the concrete siding to the roof and turn myself around, now facing him before jerking myself off the siding to stand. He pouts his stupid pretty lip as he watches me and crosses his arms a bit

“already? But i just got here”

“well should've got here sooner, green” I smirk a bit as i walk by him, tapping the pad of my pointer finger under his chin as i walk by him. He rolls his eyes but i catch a glimpse of his small smirk

“I have a life, you know, not my fault you don't. Standing on the roof waiting for me all day”. God hes fucking annoying.

“I don't wait for anyone. Certainly not you, in fact I have a group that needs me” i spit as I turned my head just enough to see his snarky look on his face looking back at me already.

“I have a group blahh blahh” he mocks me. He always mocks me.

“Fuck you” i spit.

“fuck you” he immediately says back. I continue walking to the old rusty fire escape, once painted red, on the side of the roof, no longer feeling the need to entertain him.

“When you're done running around like a lost puppy for your group, you know where to find me” he speaks as I grab the handle of the fire escape. I flip him off before sliding down it, what a prick.

I sit up quickly, sliding my phone into the pocket of my weathered and ripped black jeans. I place my hand on the concrete and lift myself to my feet. If I wanted to know what happened, I'd have to go where everything would have started. I look over to the side of the building, i know where all these buildings are placed by now. I know this city like the back of my hand. I turn my body towards the side before getting a running head start, running towards the side and jumping as soon as my foot touches the edge. I watch the roof of the shorter building next door get nearer and I quickly tuck myself, rolling myself safely onto the roof. I stand and head over to the fire escape, grabbing the handle and sliding down it into the alley below. His apartment is only a few blocks from here, that's where i'll start.

I eventually arrived at his apartment building, surely his front door would be locked like it always is. However he leaves the balcony door open for me. I don't even bother checking the front door anymore. The old apartment owner knows me, infact trusts me with his home. Shes very kind. He got really lucky, she would have screwed him on his money so many times. Idiot. I know she’ll let me in, but i don't see why i should worry her. She’d most certainly call the police, thats the last thing he needs.I look into the window first, looking around his dark apartment. The lights are out, a clear indication he's not home. He loves to leave the lights on. His apartment looked like it always did, i took that as a good sign. No sign of a struggle or mess that wasnt already there. I grab the handle of the door and slide it open simultaneously reaching down to my leg harness to retrieve my knife before stepping inside cautiously. My eyes quickly dart around the apartment, scanning for any sign of life besides myself. I keep my footsteps quiet. I start with the kitchen on my left, making my way towards the counter tops. Nothing but dirty dishes fill the sink and empty cups lie across the counter. He was never one for throwing things away, even garbage. Hoarder. I think to myself as i continue making my way along the kitchen tile. The floor is surprisingly clean and white. I reach for the cabinets, checking every one incase he decides to make it a scavenger hunt for me. He loved to put important things in obscure places, only for me to find at the oddest of moments. Some would say it works in his favor. Who would check for a key in the ice cream box in the back of a small freezer? Never thought that'd be where I thought to check for things now. However my looking resulted in nothing. I labeled the kitchen a fail and continued my way towards the living area. It was a small area just beyond the kitchen. There was no wall intercepting the two, I could always see him when he’d go to make us drinks. I'd wait curled up on his light gray sofa wrapped in his dark mauve green blanket he’d occasionally leave on the back of the couch for me. He’d always say it was because he couldn't have a green couch, but I'd say it partially was because it was my favorite blanket of his. I lightly trace the back of it with my fingertips as I make my way around it. The couch wasnt of importance to me right now, however the glass coffee table in front of it had peaked my attention. Sprawled across it was papers, lots of them. A messy handwriting scribbled all about them. It was his. As i make my way to sit down i was immediately startled by a high screeching sound. I hold up my knife out of reflex looking in the direction the loud noise was coming from. It was his pet parrot. the small, pretty green bird in the cage on the other side of the room. She was screeching at me as if she was relieved to see me. I make my way across the room to the small standing cage which only makes her skreich more. I hush her softly concerned the small creature would alert the landlord living in the room not far from his. I grab a cracker from the open bag lying next to the cage

“sh sh okay Nami, calm down. Are you hungry?” As I lifted the cracker up to the cage near her she quickly took it from me. I smiled as i watched her sticking my finger through the cage and gently petting her small head with my pointer finger

“that's it, where's your owner hm?”

She chirps at me “blue. Blue. Blue”

She speaks before proceeding to eat her cracker. She repeats anything she hears often. I always found it a fun way to mess with him, making her repeat embarrassing things or simply something I would say often to throw him off his guard when he hears it. Maybe to make him think of me. clearly she hears my nickname enough to memorize it. I watch her for a moment before drawing a small breath and turning my focus back to the coffee table, “man i wish you could read bird”. I think for a moment as i look at the mess cluttered onto the table. Eventually i finally move my feet, making my way back around the table to the couch and sat down on the couch looking down at all the papers. I grab each one and quickly scan them for any importance. Some bills from his landlord, some mail that looked like spam, but what really caught my eye was the dark brown leather notebook in the middle of it all. It had a thin strap that matched its cover overlapping it and it looked like it had been used for months, a year at least. I carefully unwrap the strap and open it up skimming through each page. My eyebrow furrowed a bit looking through it, it was all his writing. Names and dates and times and places. What the hell is this? As i skim through each name, i come across a few that look familiar. Micheal Rhey.. Walter Thompson.. why do i know these?.. James Roy.. Sam Smith.. wait a minute. I know these, ive worked with them. These are all targets from my missions. The missions i saw him on. The dates matched up perfectly, and everything started to fall into place. These are his clients. These are the people that hire him. They hire him for his little sex work. These are the pedophiles that he puts on his puppy face for, the ones who loves the way he looks like a small boy. The ones he lies to for money. The ones that absolutely disgusted me. I hated every second i had to speak with them. I hated the way they spoke and shot their crooked smile at everyone, they knew exactly what they were doing. It made my stomach turn every time he sat on their lap or laughed at their pervy jokes for some simple bucks, even before I tolerated him. I immediately turned to the last page, assuming that would lead me to his latest client. Xxxxx xxxxx - the date was yesterday. Ding ding, we've got a winner. The name doesn't look familiar to me. I tear the page out of the book, folding it before sticking it into my pocket. Lucky for me finding people is my specialty, and I just happen to know a guy.

[jourquet]

for the 'get to know your fic writer' prompt — 3, 17, 43, & 56 🫶🏼

GET TO KNOW YOUR FIC WRITER PROMPT

3. describe the creative process if writing a chapter/fanfic

usually, i base it on the franchise's genre. for example a halo fanfic, i would follow science-fiction rules about writing the fanfic. such as long chapters, complex or expanded lore, military, politics, and so on.

i'll use maybe half a year studying the plot, characters, and lore. and game it myself if possible. just take my time to reflecting on how i interpret everything.

first at the third stage, i begin to talk to other people in fandon, read others fanfics and headcanons etc. without the groundwork, a proper fanfic can't be written. my spn fanfic readers knows this better than anyone.

i tend to mix half plotting and half pantsing the story with the three main plot not changing. the characters have normally free reign, i do not chain them down as long they get from plot point A to B.

17. what do you do when writing becomes difficult? (maybe a lack of inspiration or writers block)

i take a break from writing entirely. indulge in some other fanfics either in same fandom or others. sometimes i play games on my ps5. or watch documentaries, read books (usually classics), manga, cartoons or draw.

i sometimes take fanfics breaks by roleplaying online instead. that way, my writing skills remain sharp.

other times, i go on hikes or travels IRL. or go to the cinema, to the mall to buy stuff or just eat at Baker Brun (mini baker place).

i don't force my writing, ever. that only makes my block worse. i like to write out of habit; that's why i'm dependable about it when i've the energy capacity for it.

43. do you take a sadistic joy in whumping your characters, or are you more the "If you hurt them I would kill everyone and then myself" kind of person?

i do enjoy hurting my characters. i wouldn't have been known as 'the evil writer' without reason. though, for me, is more of a catharsis than actually sadistic enjoyment, because they reflect my own struggles most readers wouldn't pick up on unless i told them about it.

is for a reason my headcanons are rarely, if any, self-inserts. i like to stick to as close to canon as i possibly can. and if that means i've to write scenes the whole fandom will witch hunt me for, i'll. because i write my fanfics to be AS IF THEY WERE ACTUAL CANON from an outsider.

56. what’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

that my readers never in my full life of being a fanfic writer, have complained of my canon characters being ooc. that i've great unique concepts which i actually pull off and do my own research on (though, i still daydream of the day i get to have my own beta readers), and that i've no issue taking criticism about my writing and correct where necessary. only from trusted writer friends and readers, ONLY, however.

that my first two fanfics are completed with 50+ chapters. one of them with 13K reads on wattpad too. 🤍

the praise i've gotten from multiple native speakers over the years, that they could've never guessed i was not american or british because i write well enough to be considered as one of them. this means a lot to me, considering i'm mostly self-taught in english. used so many years reading books far above my age range not understanding anything, and barely passing my english grades. the constant judgement i got for not knowing how to write "i'm" or "you're". to now people sometimes asking me if i live in new york, texas, or london. 🥺 for most of my childhood most of the psychologists believed i had dyslexia too (i never did, i just learned to read by complete/recognize words instead of letter for letter, which was greek to me).

also that i combine my knowledge in classic books and the fact i understand many languages into my writing. it creates an unique writing no AI could ever dream about mimicking. is hard; but i always go the extra mile of deep research. my fanfics are meant to be read for anyone outside it too. and all the extra hours i spend just doing research so the characters feel like real human beings. it's worth it in the end.

and that through all my hardships, i found solace in my writing. i don't know who i would be without it. i found friends, i found community, i found people who genuinely care about me. all because i chose that one night on the plane trip from the US to norway, to learn english. i still have the book i read on that plane trip too ... that propelled to where i'm today in skills.

thank you, all my friends over the years. thank you, all my readers who has stuck by and never lost faith in me. thank you for everything. 🤍

[dream-meister-translations]

HEATH'S PAST STORY #1

━

I was born to give my life to music.

I believed that without a shadow of a doubt

…Until the accident happened…

HEATH : Huh!?

HEATH : Aaaaaahhhhh!!!

PHYSICIAN : We did everything we could, but unfortunately… There was no way for us to save his right arm…

HEATH : …Not my… Arm…

I've tried and tried but still I cannot feel…

I lost my right arm in a rock fall accident…

It took me a long, long time to finally accept that fact.

It happened so suddenly.

You're probably wondering how.

There was a piano competition over in the land of music and arts.

I was in a horse drawn carriage, on my way to enter.

HEATH : …Why did you… Do this to me…?

Immediate impact. Catalytic shock. Indecribable pain.

By the time I came to, I was already in the hospital.

All I knew was there'd been a rock slide on the cliff's edge.

And that I was caught up in it.

A man in a white coat said something with a mournful look, but his voice didn't reach my ears, as if he was too far away for me to hear…

HEATH : ……..

The room descended into a deep silence once he left.

And before long I found myself looking down at my music sheets.

Slowly but surely the all-too-familiar black and white notes emerged.

I raised my left hand, setting it upon the keyboard in my imagination and began to play the notes.

HEATH : …..Da~ Da~ Daaa~ Daa~ Da~ Da~ Daaaa~…..

I remember back when I was a young boy.

The first day I ever got to touch the piano in my childhood home.

I immediately fell in love with it's beautiful tone.

Other kids would run around outside with their friends, read picture books, and talk to each other.

I had no interest in such things.

I was so absorbed in the sound of the piano that nothing else mattered. Night and day I'd practise.

That piano was everything to me. The only friend I'd ever truly need.

Maybe that's why… Even now I struggle to talk to people.

Before I knew it, I was an established and successful pianist.

I was counted among the lucky few that got make a living doing what he loved the most.

I was born to give my life to music.

I believed that without a shadow of a doubt.

And yet…

HEATH : …My right arm is gone…

HEATH : --Ugh… Ngh… Urgh… Graaaahhhhhhhhh….. Ahhhhhh!!!!

The tears fell endlessly one after another staining the sheets.

I couldn't tell whether I was sad or angry or in pain.

I no longer knew myself at all…

The only thing I knew for sure… Was that it was impossible for me to ever play piano the same way again…

HEATH : (How am I supposed to live my life now…?)

HEATH : (What meaning does my life hold… If I can't even play the piano…?)

I don't remember much after that.

After being discharged from the hospital, I didn't have the energy to do anything.

I think I just… Watched the days go by in a daze…

That day, too, while I was sitting in a back alley.

I was in a daze. An empty shell of my former self.

I remember it started to rain.

I couldn't feel the rain or cold or anything at all…

HEATH : (…So I'm supposed to just leave it at that? This is how it ends?)

HEATH : (…Footsteps?)

????? : What a pathetic sight for such a genius pianist.

It was unforgettable happenstance, a chance encounter between myself and Velvet, who would go on to become head of Fata Musica...